These are my struggles

As most of you have noticed I haven't been blogging much lately. When I have its be just a bit here or there to update you about important information that I mostly want to get out to family and friends, but nothing really fun or entertaining. I'm sorry about that, I have really missed it. It truly is a release for me. Like I'm so sure it is for all of you.

But I have been under what I consider an attack. Mentally, physically and emotionally... I am a very spiritual person and feel like Satan has been doing his best to take everything I love from me. Including my love for blogging, reading and spending time with my family. Some of you already know that my marriage almost came to an end in the past six months. We are not very public people and have kept our troubles quiet. I dont plan on going into the details here now. I'm not ready for that, but I happy to say that things are getting so much better. We are stronger and our relationship with our Lord is also growing. Its weird when you can actually sit back and see the things that are destroying the relationships that are the most important to you and you're helpless to change things. I struggle with depression, anxiety and ADD daily and it now looks like I have Fibromyalgia. All of which are so much harder to deal with under mass amounts of stress. I am trying my best right now to deal with the stresses that come and go daily and not let them affect me like they have been in past months. My first thought was to run away from it all. To end any connection I had and start all over again, which has always been my way of dealing with things that seemed to overwhelm me. I get a "tape" in my head telling me how things are ruined and there is nothing I can do to fix them. That "tape" I'm now learning is Satan feeding me lies in an attempt to destroy all that I love.

Keep a cool head. Stay alert. The Devil is poised to pounce, and would like nothing better than to catch you napping. Keep your guard up. You're not the only ones plunged into these hard times. It's the same with Christians all over the world. So keep a firm grip on the faith. The suffering won't last forever. It won't be long before this generous God who has great plans for us in Christ—eternal and glorious plans they are!—will have you put together and on your feet for good. He gets the last word; yes, he does.

1Peter 5:8

Top Ten Thursday..

This is my first time participating in Sara's top ten Thursday. But here goes! Today mine is the top ten things I meant to do today and didnt. 1. I did not brush my kids teeth before school this morning... oops 2. I did not finish those three huge loads of laundry in the laundry room. 3. I did not pay my rent on time... oops 4. I did not spend two hours on the computer looking for Old Navy boots for my daughter for Christmas this year. (Okay thats just a flat out lie, I totally did that) 5. I did not finish unpacking all the boxes in my house. 6. I did not skip lunch (even though I promised myself I would) 7. I did not call that gym that I have been meaning to call for the past week. 8. I did not take ten people off my Christmas card list because I didnt order enough cards this year. (again a lie) 9. I did not consider driving 30 miles for no other reason then just to check my mail in a different city just so the kids would be strapped into the car for all that time and not driving me crazy.... (wow I really have to get this lying thing under control) 10. And the number 10 thing I did not do today is... I did not spend a half an hour looking for a new Christmas wallpaper for my Iphone. (ok thats the last lie I swear, at least for today lol) Well there you go.... all the things I "didnt" do. You should try it some time!

Okay I wont keep you waiting any longer

Well as some of you have seen on our facebook page, Ben and I have made a huge decision lately and we couldnt wait to share it with all of you. Actually, Ben doesnt think waiting would be such a bad idea. But I am not a patient person and I just couldnt wait to share our new family news. Now I know what your thinking... The Martin's are pregnant again. Nope, we're not. We will not be "having" anymore babies, I can promise you that. But our family will be getting a little bit bigger some time in the next year or two (hopefully). Ben and I have decided to adopt. We are have been talking about this for years and finally feel like we are ready to start the process. We are still looking into what country we will be adopting from or if adopting stateside would be best for us. Like I said we are in the very beginning stages of the process and for now, we are taking baby steps. But I just couldnt wait to share the new with all of you and ask for all your prayers during this new journey in our lives. Lots of Love!!!!

NEW URL

I just wanted to let everyone know that I have changed the URL to our blog. I'm so excited to tell you that I finally have my own domain name!!!! Our new web address will be www.ourwonderfulbeautifullife.com. But you will still be able to put in our old address www.mandiandbenmartin.blogspot.com and find the blog! So please update your bookmarks!

HO, HO, HO (and a little touch of bah hum bug)

Ok, so its Christmas time and for those of you that follow me on twitter you know that I am completely 100% not ready. I havent so much has bought a single gift this year. Yea I know what your thinking... " Mandi there are plenty of people that dont do their holiday shopping until Dec. Thats when you get all the good sales." Well thats just not me. I'm a buy all year kinda girl. A go out on Black Friday kinda girl. A I have everyone's perfect gift wrapped and ready to go by the 15th kinda a girl. A... Well you get the point. But not this year. This year I will be a fly by the seat of my pant kinda girl.... And well to be honest I'm not really sure how to deal with that. Between the multiple moves, a removal of a nonessential body part and the complete change in lifestyle that we are currently undergoing I am well...I'm just not ready for old Saint Nick to come plopping down my chimney. So if you dont get a gift this year please know that it wasnt for a lack of trying, just more a lack of time and if you get a gift and its from Wal-Mart, well just know thats about as fancy as it gets for us way out here in the sticks... Love you all... Merry Christmas and Well cut me some slack people ok... lol just kidding love ya! Mandikins!

She is a beautiful girl.....

But its time people.... It is time for Laney to be potty trained. I'm not sure how this is going to go over once we inform Laney of this fact. But we will soon be entering PottyTraining BootCamp...

As of wednesday until sunday she will only get diapers at night. It will either be panties or nothing for the rest of the day. I will follow her around with a potty as ever much as I need to. But I will have her peeing in that potty at least once before the weekend is over.

Now you explain all this to this super sweet face...

What Just happened here?

Well it all started Wednesday afternoon when I told Ben that I wasnt feeling very good. I had a tummy ache and really just didnt feel up to anything. I went to bed that night thinking it was indigestion (from my very healthy diet) and that I would take some pepto and be fine in the morning. Well my tummy ache kept me up all night and by the next day it was just this huge pain in my side. We had promised the kids we could meet them for the Parent invited Thanksgivings lunch they had planned at their school, so I popped a Tylenol 3 and headed to the school. By the time the lunch was over I was in pain again and quickly headed home to put laney down for a nap and lay down myself. Ben came home at 5pm to me curled up on the couch in some pretty serious pain. So I went begruningly to the ER (thinking they were going to tell me I had gas or something equally non serious) and send me home. Turns out, not so much. My appendix as double its normal size and had to come out NOW. So I was taken via an ambulance to another hospital 30 minutes away and rushed in to the OR. It all actually happened so quickly that by the time my MIL drove a hour to our house and then Ben drove a half hour to the other hospital I was already out of surgery. They got the whole thing out and I only have three little scars to show for it. The only scary part really was that I almost just went to bed instead of listening to Ben and going to the ER. I really thought it was going to be a waste of time. Thank God, that I made myself go up there. Because from what I've heard a burst appendix is a whole lot worse then appendicitis. So here I am laying in bed taking it easy and trying to prep myself for the next crazy week we have coming up. Leave it to me to have minor surgery the week before a birthday, move and Thanksgiving... I'm such a drama queen. LOL